Redneck Love Poem
Collards is green
my dogs name is blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flappin in the breeze Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass which excite me in May you ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
just a-fry'n in the pan
Yo're as fragrant as snuff
right out of the can.
You have some-a yore teeth
for which I am proud
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions
when you shave under yore arms
well I'm in hog heaven
and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work
they all want to know
what I did to deserve
such a purdy young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there for yore man
to patch up lifes troubles
and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin overhead
you ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight
like a padded gun rack
my life is complete
ain't nuttin I lack.
Yore complexion is purfect
like the best vinyl sidin
despite all the years
yore age it keeps hidin.
Me 'n' you's like a moon pie
with a RC cold drank
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men they buy chocolate
for Valentine's day
They git it at Wal-Mart
it's romantic that way.
Some men get roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger
"That's impressive" I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth
diamonds are forever
they explain suave and couth.
But for this man honey
these just won't do
cause yore too special
you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift
without taste or odor
more useful than diamonds
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!